Glass Maze Every jumbled pile of person

Posts from June 2004

Pining for a Better Fourth Estate

Just read an amazing article by a guy name Matt Taibbi, from New York Press. It starts off as a screed against liberal-turned-uberfascist Christopher Hitchens (who recently wrote his own screed denouncing Michael Moore as a “coward”), then settles into a long and impassioned indictment of journalism in this country: Well, that’s rich, isn’t it? [...]


How To Fix Baseball

The Montreal Expos are looking for a new home, and Major League Baseball, the only legal monopoly in the United States, is driving a hard bargain. No less than seven different cities are competing for the opportunity to spend hundreds of millions of dollars to build them a stadium, and most of those cities are [...]


Journey Into The Frost Giant

The frost giant bent over and bit off my head, then reared back and bellowed his terrible joy. I rattled around in the back of his mouth for a while, then guttered into his throat and fell into the long chute of his esophagus. It was wide and slick and lit by phosphorescent glumps of [...]


Another Iraq Simile

Ever since our invasion of Iraq began to go sour, the punderati have been struggling to equate it with various failed conflicts of the past: Vietnam is a popular one, as is the French war in Algeria and the Russian incursion into Afghanistan. But the one that I haven’t seen mentioned very often has perhaps [...]


Goose Messiah

Geese are vile creatures. They strut about like insolent godlings, heads held high on their horrid weedstalk necks, beaks curved into permanent sneers, hissing at everything that passes them by; they lay steaming minefields of soft green shit in the paths of innocents, and grab bread from the hands of babes. They swarm wherever there’s [...]


Big Picture

In the spontaneous, ongoing Reagan hagiography that’s been playing itself out in the media over the past week, I’ve heard the following sentiment expressed countless times: “He was a big picture kind of guy.” Now, I don’t know what to make of this. Or rather, I know exactly what I make of it, but I’m [...]


Hell and Damnation Customer Service

A transcript from a recent call to the Hell and Damnation Customer Service Hotline: Customer Service Representative: Hello, you’ve reached customer service. Can I help you? Damned Soul: Yes, hello. I’m calling to register a complaint. CSR: I’ll be happy to help you with that. What seems to be the problem? DS: Yes. Well, I’ve [...]