Glass Maze Every jumbled pile of person

The Brains

Lately, I’ve been pondering one of life’s greatest mysteries: why does my brain always make my body do such crazy shit? Today it ordered me to wake up in the middle of the night and stagger downstairs to walk some bread and toast the dog. It forced me to imbibe massive quantities of caffeine [...]

The Already Screwed Theory

Of all the arguments in defense of the Bush administration’s tendency to spy illegally on the communications of US citizens, the strangest by far is the “Already Screwed” theory, which maintains that our privacy is compromised on a daily basis anyway, by forces inside the government and out, so another set of prying eyes hardly [...]

Condensed Confirmation Hearings

Glass Maze presents a condensed version of yesterday’s Supreme Court confirmation hearings:

Senator Joseph Biden (D): Good morning. Let’s get right into it. I’ll start by saying that bullshit bullshit bloviate bullshit abortion bullshit. But bloviate bullshit right to privacy bullshit bullshit blather bloviate. So, Judge Alito, I ask you: bloviate bloviate bullshit bloviate?

Judge Samuel Alito: [...]

The Bewildering Longevity of COBOL

Back in the dim recesses of time a programming language named COBOL was born. It was a strange creature, built on ancient notions that, in the harsh light of the twenty-first century, seem as quaint and obsolete as those squat space-age concept houses that sprouted up in the sixties, all glass and metal and odd [...]

The Volition Hole

I slipped into a volition hole last night. Volition holes are hidden pit traps: you don’t see them until you’ve fallen in, and you don’t realize what’s happened until much later. But I’d fallen in. Eight o’clock found me curled up on the couch staring listlessly at a blank television set while the dog galavanted [...]

The Unseparation of Church and State

I don’t generally see any problem with people engaging in minor forms of worship in places where the constitution technically forbids it: federal buildings, schools, etc. But stuff like what’s going on Indiana right now really creeps me out. A judge just told the legislature there that they couldn’t invoke Christ’s name in the course [...]