Here are some tips on how to dress up as your favorite programming language for halloween. C Not much to this costume, basically just a thong and a bunch of pointer references that you malloc() houses into. You move from house to house on a very thin tightrope with no supports and no net. You [...]
Dear Mr President: Merry Christmas, sir! It’s been quite a year here at the Department of Coercion. As you know, we’ve successfully coerced 4000 enemy combatants since January 1, which averages out to 10 successful coercions a day. A record! Even better, we’ve been able to extract an average of 3 confessions from each coercee. [...]
Thankfully, the SexyBack obsession seems to be passing, though something else has taken its place, just as viral but infinitely more worthy: Don’t Feel Like Dancin’, by The Scissor Sisters. I defy you to suppress your autonomic booty-gyration instincts while listening to this song.
Justin Timberlake is on a mission. He’s bringing the sexy back. But he’s picked an odd way to do it: he’s released a track that could have been — and probably will be — written by our robot overlords. The song is inescapable. It’s called SexyBack, and it goes like this: I’m bringing sexy back [...]
Andrew Sullivan weighs in on Bush: The serenity may also come from his own fundamentalist psyche. There’s a reason fundamentalism is popular. Unlike other forms of faith, it relieves the believer of almost all responsibility for any of his doubts, it surrenders everything in a person’s psyche to God’s will, it appeases all anxiety and [...]
In 1992, I decided that I needed sunglasses. Not the cheap-ass sunglasses I’d been pulling off the racks at Target every couple of months or so. I needed quality sunglasses this time around. Cool sunglasses. Yes. So I went to Sunglass Hut in the mall and picked out the biggest, plastic-est, whitest sunglasses I could [...]
This is how you lose you soul: Mr. Bush on Wednesday acknowledged the use of aggressive interview techniques, but only in the most general terms. “We knew that Zubaydah had more information that could save innocent lives, but he stopped talking,†Mr. Bush said. He said the C.I.A. had used “an alternative set of procedures’’ [...]
I took three semesters of calculus in college, from which I learned three important lessons: Isaac Newton was a genius Numbers make me cry If my life ever depends on calculus skills, I will die I purged all of that toxic shit out of my mind a couple minutes after the last exam of my [...]
I come out of the office at nine o’clock, stumbling away from the deadline that’s been looming over me like some kind of Mordorish evil eye, casting a dank, gritty pall. I’m numb and tired, which is a little disappointing: I’d expecting elation, a seratonin spike that would just sweep away the months of stress-horde [...]
Israel’s bombing campaign in Lebanon has so far killed 380 civilians, and wounded nearly a thousand more. Half a million Lebanese have been displaced. At first glance, this would seem to be a criminal, monstrous act. But Alan Dershowitz has taken it upon himself to explain to us why it’s actually probably ok: We need [...]
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