Glass Maze Every jumbled pile of person

Death by Taquito

I reached a kind of dire epiphany on Friday. I was at work, looking at my lunch — two taquitos, twin amalgams of fat and grease and starch rolled up in individual corn tortillas, sitting in a pool of their own fluids — when I realized that I’m slowly killing myself.

This wasn’t a new revelation, of course. My body and and I have had several conversations along these lines over the past couple of months. They usually go something like this:

Anyway. I think I’m finally realizing that something has to change, because I went to the supermarket on Saturday, and, instead of blowing by produce on my way to starch & sugar, stopped and picked up several severely unappetizing-looking items — spinach and pears and carrots and the like. And, more than that, I went home and made a good-faith effort to actually eat them. This may not sound like progress to normal people, but it’s a minor revolution for me.

But we’ll see. I’m already experiencing taquito withdrawal.

I so sympathize. My internal debates are about chocolate (one of the crucial food groups), except my bod is quite unconvinced.

Your died could use more coffee: it comes from a tree and is therefore a vegetable, which are healthy.

If you’ve got a bunch of spinach, blue cheese, walnuts, pears you can make a salad that defies the wheels of the universe by actually TASTING GOOD. My wife uses raspberry dressing and adds yuppie dried fruit (cran-thingies or sundried whatevers) but I just stick to olive oil and a bit o’ garlic powder.

(Note: a salad is a lot like a bag of starbursts — each mouthful tastes different from the last. This usually means that one gets “salad apprehension” prior to each bite — the fear that you are putting something inedibly gross into your mouth. However, try the above recipe and it might help you reach a new nutritional nirvana.)

Oops, I meant “diet” not “died”. Freud would have a raspy, smoky chuckle at that one…

Keyan – Yeah, I’m a big fan of chocolate. I cultivate a broad range of unhealthy foods.

Clay – That does sound pretty good, actually. I’ll try it.

Another salad that’s more than bearable — the chopped salad at Corner Bakery. Occasional mouthfuls of that stuff even approach yummy.