Duck! The Vice President’s Coming!
So apparently Dick Cheney shot someone in a hunting accident this weekend. We didn’t hear it from his office, though. We heard it from the woman who owns the ranch he was hunting on. She called a local newspaper and spilled the beans.
The line from the White House is that they decided not to tell anyone that the Vice President of the United States had shot someone in the face with a shotgun because they wanted to let the owner of the ranch do it for them … because she was an eyewitness. First of all: is this the best you people can do? Is your lying machine broken, or overtaxed, or just not capable of spinning out falsehoods fat enough to cover this one? Second: since when is the White House press office outsourcing its job to civilian ranchers?
If nothing else this incident tells us a little something about our Vice President’s hunting preferences. Apparently what passes for “hunting” in his world is: (1) raising a bunch of birds in captivity; (2) releasing them; and (3) immediately fucking shooting them. I’ve never really understood the appeal of hunting (which is no more a “sport” than basketball is a hamster), but really I can’t think of anything more demented than this. Imagine living in a cage for your entire life, until one day someone opens the gate … and you shuffle up out of the darkness and sniff the air and peek out at the world … and then suddenly realize that you’re finally, at long last, free … and you surge up out of captivity beating towards the first unbarred blue sky you’ve ever seen … and are promptly blown into a cloud of meat and feathers by a pasty old white guy with a shotgun. Is this what passes for honor and fairness in the upper echelons of the Bush administration?
Yes, of course it is.
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