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Little-Known Facts: Columbus’ Fourth Ship

It is a little known fact that there were actually four ships that set off with Christopher Columbus on his historic journey to discover America: the Niña, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, and the Exploding Flower Turtle of Sparkle-Spam — this last containing a troupe of surrealist Prussian clowns who made it their life’s work to follow famous adventurers around the earth, leavening the drudgery of their endless journeys with a steady stream of nonsequiturs and heavily ironic self-referential hipster pranks.

But perhaps understandable why only three ships made it to the New World. ;)