Sarah Palin Interviews for a Job
Sarah Palin, answering a question on whether she thinks she’s qualified to be president:
And I believe that what Americans are seeking is not the elitism, the kind of a spinelessness that perhaps is made up for that with some kind of elite Ivy League education and a fact resume that’s based on anything but hard work and private sector, free enterprise principles. Americans could be seeking something like that in positive change in their leadership.
I’m not sure what question she was answering there, actually, or whether this really qualifies as an answer — or a sentence, for that matter. But it’s marvelous. It made me wonder what it would look like if she interviewed for a job as a software developer.
Interviewer: Can you describe the pros and cons of the Spring framework?
Palin: Yes, of course. Now, some people would say that the “Spring framework” is not a framework at all but perhaps rather an attempt by software bureaucrats to tell hardworking American programmers how they should write their software for example. And you know me I’m just a backwoods Alaska girl and honestly I don’t spend much time listening to the “experts” and the “elites” because sometimes you just have to go with your gut.
Interviewer: [pauses] So you don’t like it?
Palin: It’s not a question of liking or to not liking, Charlie, it’s a question of standing up for what’s right. Can I call you Charlie?
Interviewer: My name’s Phil.
Palin: Great! Imagine, Charlie, that you were getting ready to sit down in your own home or perhaps in your own yard in your own neighborhood wearing your own pajamas and you wanted to make code with your computer. The kind of thing that average moms and dads who love their kids and America do every day. Right?
Interviewer: I’m not sure.
Palin: Now imagine that you’re typing away at your codes and then suddenly some government bureaucrat swoops in and says stop Charlie! Stop, darn it! Because you’re not perhaps typing it the way that the “hive mind” wants you to type it. You’re typing it in a way that’s individual to yourself and that just doesn’t sit well with the socialists and the communists and the media elites. How would that make you feel?
Interviewer: I’m in the yard? In my pajamas?
Palin: In your own pajamas that you bought with the labors of your hard earning. And now this guy who never probably even shot anything with his own hands perhaps wants you to write it his way. The “spring” way, whatever the heck that is. [laughs]
Interviewer: So you’ve never used it before?
Palin: Chad, whenever I hear the work “framework”, you know what I see? I see a crowd of hardworking American men and women slaving away their whole lives stuck like dead butterflies on a communist scaffolding working for the State. I see welfare mothers with fifteen babies snorting coke that they bought with our money, Chad. I see the whole nation bent under the burden of socialized healthcare while Mexicans pour over the border and take jobs away from good American workers. And for what?
Interviewer: I’m not sure.
Palin: For the Spring framework, Chuck. When I had my son, Spork, me and my husband Todd looked each other in the eyes and we said to each other: “Never again. Never will we let the tyranny of French monarchy scar the shores of this great land.” Our men and women are overseas fighting for our freedom against the forces of Hitler or perhaps some Hitler-like entities while in our own country ACORN workers are free to go into our schools and hand out pamphlets about how to do abortions and Nancy Pelosi wants to nationalize Christianity and illegal immigration and what are we going to do about it? I’ll tell you what, Chris. We need to stand up and be the Americans that our founding forefathers and foremothers and little founding forebabies wanted us to be. By turning our back on the Sling framework, Chuck! But standing up for what we believe in and for what’s good and right and then for example traditional values which.
Interviewer: [pauses] It’s the Spring framework.
Palin: Exactly. Now, you can do whatever you want. You can use the Sling framework or the Euro framework or the Lenin framework or whatever you want! This is America. But if you do then the will of the people will rise up and crush you like a bug and that’s what makes America great.
Interviewer: Well, Ms Palin. It’s been very nice talking to you.
2 Comments