Seeing in this election a chance to make a small contribution to the body of scientific knowledge, I resolved, through the process of empirical experimentation, to determine the weight of hope.
Yesterday, right before the returns started coming in, I got on a scale and wrote down my weight. Then I sat up all night, watching the news get worse and worse and worse. Then, this morning, I dragged myself away from the television and weighed myself again. I’d lost about 15 ounces.
So hope weighs 15 ounces. Or does it? I haven’t taken into account the weight of bitterness, anger, and incredulity, which entered by body in great quantities as the night wore on. Further experimentation is warranted.
When I have all of my results, I will publish them in whatever scientific journals survive the coming evangelical crusade.
1 comment so far ↓
You know, I’d like to say something positive about last night’s results, but I can’t think of a thing.
At least, positive.
On the other hand, if you think this man has done damage to our economy, political and military systems, our relations with the rest of the world, and oh yes, the environment, just wait for the next four years, in which he no longer has to worry about re-election. The possibilities are just mind-boggling…..
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